by Ratburntro44 » Sat Sep 08, 2012 5:25 pm
Stupid Bolshevik revolution.
While you and your commie friends are taking me down, I escape in my house that doubles as a spaceship. I go to mars, and, using human DNA samples and terraforming machines, take control of it and populate it with a new race of humans devoted to taking the hill out of control of the communists.
30 years later, I lead my forces in a charge against you to take back the hill. At the last moment, when my forces were being overpowered by yours, and capitalism was once again at the brink of destruction, I took out my last resort; my stolen ban hammer. Right before my final vanguard fell, I threw my ban hammer. I threw it perfectly, such that it went over your guards. The ban hammer hits you. You are destroyed.
Leaving your troops dumbfounded, my troops come back from the brink of death and, with new found determination, destroy your troops in a matter of minutes.
However, with this, my troops, having become more fierce capitalist that myself, rebel to take the hill for themselves. Cleverly manipulating them, I get them to destroy each other, leaving me as supreme ruler of the Earth and with the hill in my hands, with no military power left on the planet other than a small group of guards that are still loyal to me.