King of the Hill

[Ratburntro44]

I use my new-found knowledge of statistics to figure out my chances of taking the hill if I get a tank and attack it. Turns out to be 100%. I do.

My hill.

[jwl1000]

i atomic screwdriver your tank into 4000 parts
i kick you off the hill.
my hill

[chris1726354]

I get into a cannon and shoot myself at the hill. I go splat. Jwl's hill.

[Ratburntro44]

I kickpunch jwl into a mining operation.

My hill.

[jwl1000]

I summon a big bird to catch me and bring me bach to the hill. the bird eats you.
My hill.

[guineazilla]

I SUMMON A GIANT CAT TO EAT YOUR BIRD. And you. My hill.

[Vortex_Master]

I steal the Doctor's Sonic screwdriver and the Master's laser screwdriver and use them simultaneously to make all the Cybermen attack whoever owns the hill. They kill you, leaving me the hill.
My hill.

The Cybermen then kill me, as I own the hill.
Cyber Leader's hill.

The Cybermen then kill the Cyber Leader and a new Cyber Leader is crowned, and he now owns the hill.
Cyber Leader's hill.

This cycle goes on until there is one Cyberman (therefore the last Cyber Leader), who kills himself because he is programmed to kill the owner of the hill.
Nobody's hill.

[Ratburntro44]

Stephan Pastis makes me un-die.

I claim the hill.

My hill.

[Vortex_Master]

I am taken to a hospital to have bullets removed, and during an exploratory surgery to examine my two hearts, the doctor opperating on me kills me. It takes me several hours to regenerate because of the anesthetics, and when I get up I have amnesia. I finally remember that I was trying to become king of the hill after passing by Ratburntro44. I proceed to shove him into the Eye of Harmony then claim the hill.

My hill.

[Ratburntro44]

It unexpectedly leads me into an alternate universe- the darkest timeline. With the assistance of Evil Abed, I return to our timeline. I challenge you to a paintball battle over the hill. I win.

My hill.