Funniness.

[GivinUDaHimelik]

Some American college football jokes.

How many Georgia Tech freshman football players does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler: show

None. That's a sophomore course.

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?

Spoiler: show

The cow fell on him.

Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

A UofMississippi football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

Spoiler: show

The police officer.

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

Spoiler: show

There's tobacco juice on both sides of the truck.

UofMichigan coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for this week's game; the other half will have to dress themselves.

How is the South Carolina football team like an opossum?

Spoiler: show

The y play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

Spoiler: show

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

[chris1726354]

Some American college football jokes.

How many Georgia Tech freshman football players does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler: show

None. That's a sophomore course.

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?

Spoiler: show

The cow fell on him.

Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

A UofMississippi football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

Spoiler: show

The police officer.

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

Spoiler: show

There's tobacco juice on both sides of the truck.

UofMichigan coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for this week's game; the other half will have to dress themselves.

How is the South Carolina football team like an opossum?

Spoiler: show

The y play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

Spoiler: show

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

Lmao

[GivinUDaHimelik]

Some American college football jokes.

How many Georgia Tech freshman football players does it take to change a light bulb?

Spoiler: show

None. That's a sophomore course.

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?

Spoiler: show

The cow fell on him.

Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

A UofMississippi football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

Spoiler: show

The police officer.

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

Spoiler: show

There's tobacco juice on both sides of the truck.

UofMichigan coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for this week's game; the other half will have to dress themselves.

How is the South Carolina football team like an opossum?

Spoiler: show

The y play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

Spoiler: show

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

Lmao

Glad someone else enjoyed them besides me.

[fluppa]

ACKERMAN

Ackerman and his friend are talking and Ackerman says
"Next time i will meet Angela Merkel"
His friend : "Angela Merkel - the german chancellor ?"
Ackerman : "Yes
His friend : "You know her ?"
Ackerman: "I know her for years"
His friend: "No - i don't believe it"
Ackerman: "Ok i will show u"

Both driving to Berlin and standing in front of the office of the federal chancellor.
After awhile Angela Merkel shows up, sees Ackerman and start to shout:
"Ackerman my friend, how are u ?!!"
His friend shake his head and say : "I can't believe it".

Ackerman: "Well next week i will meet Barack Obama"
His friend: "Obama ? the President of the USA ?
Ackerman: "Yes" i played with him when i was a child"
His friend: "What ? No - i can't believe it"
Ackerman: "Ok i will show u"

Both fly across the atlantic to Washington D.C. and standing in front of the Capitol.
After awhile Barack Obama show up and start to shout "Ackerman my friend how are u ?"
His friend shake his head and think
'How comes that he know such people - and they all know him ?!'

Ackerman: "I have a meeting with the pope next week"
His friend: "Merkel, ok - Obama, ok, ok, but the pope is impossible -you are not even relegious"
Ackerman: "I helped him a bit when he was in his study times"

Both fly across the atlantic back to europe, Vatican in Rome.
They standing in the Vatican waiting for the pope who is standing on a pulpit.
The pope immediately begin to wave in Ackermans direction.
Ackerman: "I see the pope- please wait here." He ascend the pulpit to greet the pope .

While his friend is waiting a japanese tourist shows up and ask Ackermans friend:

"Sorry, one question : "Who is the person beside Ackerman ?"

[GivinUDaHimelik]

lol

[chris1726354]

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_qHoRLB3Xs

[GivinHimTheBizness]

This is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_qHoRLB3Xs

meh.It's ok but not coooool enough.

[highlander]

10079.jpg (72.53 KiB) Viewed 4835 times

You'll never guess who's photo i put in the envelope.Hahaha.

[mattie]

10079.jpg

You'll never guess who's photo i put in the envelope.Hahaha.

[BeatlesFan]

A Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.

During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?

He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. "

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,

The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

"Where's my toast ?"